This post may seem a bit cliché…a new year and a resolution to be more healthy and lose weight. It seems like everyone makes the same resolution. But this is not a New Year’s Resolution. I have long ago given up on those. This post has been in the making since October. It’s not about losing weight, it’s about taking care of me.
This is me a year-and-a-half ago. I was 10 pounds lighter than I am now. I was on a mission to change. It worked for a few months. I lost some weight and gained some happiness. Then it got boring and became a chore to keep myself in check. I quit.
Over the past year-and-a-half I simply lived life. I wasn’t extremely happy but I wasn’t depressed either. I went off of my Celexa (anti-depressant) because I thought it made me feel muted. Overall, I thought life was ok.
In October I had a bit of a wake-up call. It started when I was told that they were eliminating my position at my job. I stressed and stressed some more over what my future held for work, finances, and child care. I got cranky at everyone and started feeling a bit out of control. Then I had my yearly check-up with my doctor. She told me that I needed to get my weight under control or my health would start to decline. It was the first time she had ever told me that I was unhealthy. We had a long, but good (and much needed) talk about my life, my health, my weight, and my attitude. My doctor also put me back on an anti-depressant but changed from Celexa to Prozac.
The stress of a job change led me to a “let go, let God” attitude these past few months. Roll with the punches because God’s got a plan that is best for me (and my family). The “let go, let God” attitude then made me think more about myself. What do *I* want/need in life? What is going to make *me* happy? I was working my previous position at my job because it was best for my family. It wasn’t really making me happy though. God gave me a new position that works for both me and my family. “Let go” made me realize that I need to let go of my pride. I can’t do it on my own…
Which leads to weight loss…all my past failures have been because I tried to do it on my own. I didn’t want to spend money to have people tell me what I already know. This year I’m letting go. I admit my failures and that I can’t do it on my own. Yesterday I joined Weight Watchers and today I went to my first meeting. *I* need this. Not because my husband is complaining that I’m gaining weight, not because my doctor told me that I am unhealthy, but because it is what is going to make *me* happy. Because I can’t do it on my own. Because now that I have a job that will make me happier, it’s time to have a lifestyle that makes me happier. Because if I’m happier, my family will be happier…
