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My Perfectly, Imperfect Marriage

I’m going to start this post with a disclaimer. First, this post is NOT sponsored. In fact, the company doesn’t even know I’m writing a post about them. Second, this post is off-topic of what I normally talk about but I felt the need to write it…

A little over 15 years ago my husband and I got engaged. We were 20 and 23 years old, and full of young love bliss.


Back then, my friends were getting large, flashy,expensive diamond engagement rings. After all, isn’t that what you’re suppose to get? I, however, wanted something small and simple. A 1/4 carat solitaire to be exact. I’m not a huge jewelry fan and I felt like I didn’t need a big diamond for him to show his love. After much discussion with my then boyfriend/soon to be fiance, he convinced me to try on the ring below. I thought it was still to big/fancy, but he thought I deserved something more than a small solitaire.


Though it was slightly larger at 1/3 carat and not a solitaire, I loved it the moment I tried it on! It was perfect, and man did it sparkle! He scraped enough money together to get the best color and clarity diamond he could…an H (near colorless) VS1 (very slight inclusion/defect). Because, the better the diamond, the more a girl is going to love it, right?

Yesterday I was searching the internet and came across Chinchar/Maloney Fine Jewelry. I don’t know how, or why, since I wasn’t looking for jewelry, but their rings intrigued me. They are simple, handmade rings and their diamonds are not perfect. In fact, most of them are grossly flawed.


I LOVE them! In fact, if Hubby and I ever decide to renew our vows, THIS is the ring I want. You see, handmade rings with flawed diamonds are the perfect representation of marriage. Marriage isn’t about perfection. It’s about accepting each other’s faults, and loving each other despite them.

The gold in the ring is pliable. Pliable enough so that it can be forged by hand with some tools and effort. It represents the changing times in your marriage, the endeavors you’ll go through, and the labor you’ll exert to keep your marriage in that near perfect circle of love.

The semi-opaque (as they call it) diamond with it’s noticeable inclusions, represents the strength of the marriage despite each others flaws. Diamonds are the hardest gemstone on earth. Though large inclusions will cause a diamond to be weaker, they are still quite strong. As your marriage continues, and each other’s faults become more noticeable, you’ll need to remember that despite each other’s flaws, your marriage can still be strong.


Hubby and I haven’t had the perfect marriage over the last 14 years. Anyone who tells your their marriage is perfect is lying. However, we love each other just as much, if not more than we did when we got married. We love each other in spite of (or maybe because of) each other’s flaws and differences.

Had I known 15 years ago, what I know now, I would have chosen a hand-made engagement ring with a grossly flawed diamond because it is beautiful and it represents my perfectly, imperfect marriage.


  1. The part about the flaws makes this so incredibly meaningful. I really like this!

  2. I love the comparison between an imperfect marriage and imperfect diamond. I don’t think there are any marriages that are perfect.

  3. Back when my husband and I got engaged, I would have been offended to receive an imperfect ring. Like you, I wanted something small and not flashy at all. I think seeing the flaws in the ring then would have turned me off. Now though, after eight years, I think it’s a great symbol of how marriage really works. Our marriage definitely hasn’t been perfect, but it’s much stronger now than it was on our wedding day. I love the way you looked at the handmade ring, and that I can totally see the meaning behind your post.

  4. First of all this is a beautiful post I am so glad you wrote it. I love how you compare the ring to the reality of marriage, marriage is hard work but oh so worth it with the right man!

  5. Oh I love this. My wedding/engagement ring band broke and I actually have worn a ring in over a year? Maybe two? I miss it… but I don’t want something flashy either. We agreed we’d take my ring along with some others and have things melted down and custom design our ring. Now I’m thinking of taking inspiration from imperfect rings because we are just that – perfectly imperfect!

  6. The ring you’ve chosen is a great representation. Marriage is messy and wonderful and ever changing. I hope you and your husband have many more years of perfectly imperfect wedded bliss.

  7. I LOVE this! That ring is so pretty and I loved hearing your story. I hope that you get that ring someday!

  8. I actually wanted a semi-precious stone & would have been fine with sterling, but my husband got me one that was almost a half carat set in yellow gold. I loved it because he gave it to me, but something like this would have been cooler.

  9. Awwww! I love this! And, your ring is gorgeous but I really love the one that you’d like to have. Because I’ve been losing weight (YAY!), my wedding rings are too big. The other day, my band FLEW across the room. Luckly I was home and it was easily found.

  10. Stephanie Keeping says

    That ring is beautiful! I hope you get it someday!! Thank you for sharing your story.

  11. I actually really love the imperfect diamond too and I love how you compare it to marriage. I don’t wear my ring most of the time since I work in healthcare.

  12. Well I for one think renewing your vows is absolutely the cool thing to do 😉


  13. I agree about no marriage being perfect! I’ve been married only 8 years but we’ve been together for 20!

  14. This is beautiful! I agree, no marriage is perfect but they can still be pretty great! Ups and downs are part of the journey.

  15. Those “grossly flawed” rings are simply gorgeous! I wouldn’t mind having one of those when my husband and I renew our vows.

  16. We have very similar tastes in jewelry! I love your wishlist ring- and the reason you want it!

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